Intruder
11/03/2009 11:35:00 AM - Posted by April - 5 comments
It was past 11 in the night and Sumit still hadn't returned from work. Neeti was tired of waiting. He was probably still stuck in the meeting or the Mumbai traffic. He was not even taking her calls.There was nothing on TV. And there was no point cooking either. He had been to a dinner, which was more or less a business meeting and she was not hungry. Reading a magazine in bed, she slowly drifted off to sleep. Hadn't been long, when she felt someone snuggling up beside her, stroking her hair gently and holding her hand.

"Back from work", Neeti smiled to herself.

Just the loving touch of his hand made her feel so relaxed. She had been through a lot at work that day. Couldn't have asked for anything more than his warm comforting presence beside her. She just wanted to be held the entire night.

Neeti wanted to turn to face Sumit. Somehow....she couldn't. She couldn't move. As if her whole body was paralysed. And why was Sumit holding her hand so tight? She felt like complaining. Between all this, she had begun to wonder if she had really been sleeping at all. Was it a sound she'd heard? It was consistently coming from a distance. Clicking of mouse. Sound of fingers furiously at work on the keyboard. With great effort she opened her eyes. Whatever she saw made her break into cold sweat.

It  was Sumit. Sitting at the table with his laptop in front of him and his back to Neeti. The monitor spread a soft glow in the room.

When did he come in? Who was beside her if it wasn't Sumit?? Neeti felt her heartbeat quickening.Chills ran down her spine. Her skin crawled.  Her hand was numb and it was hurting now. She tried to jerk it free but she couldn't. Whoever was beside her, she wasn't able to see. But the presence was unmistakable. Her heart was thumping so loudly that she could feel it in the tips of her fingers. Horrified, she tried to move again but it was as if she was bound by ropes. Even her eyeballs couldn't move. Her gaze was fixed on Sumit.

"Please Sumit TURN. Turn..turn ...turn." A feeling of utter despair ran through her. She tried to yell.All she wanted was to be shaken awake so that she would get out of this horrible dream. If it was one.

"Sumit. Sumiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitt". Her lungs suddenly felt devoid of air. She needed air.

Not even sure if she had heard her own voice, she tried again. Her voice was a whisper in her own ear. Nothing came out.With all her might she tried again. Nothing.

The grip on her hand had suddenly loosened. Gathering all her strength, she tried one last time. She sat up choking and wheezing. Hearing her, Sumit stood up with a surprised look on his face.

"What happened? Neeti..Neeti are you okey?" looking worried he handed her a glass of water.

She drank half ...spilled half and hid her face in her hands. He heard she was sobbing and pulled her close.

"Shhhhhh....bad dream...bad dream."

"It was not...... a dream. There was....someone. Some..one", Neeti managed to say between sobs, still clinging on to him.

"Just a nightmare baby. Don't cry Neeti. Calm down. I'm here right next to you. You were sleeping so I didn't wake you up", stroking her hair gently he tried to soothe her.

"Acha look at me now. Don't cry baby. You are my strong girl hmm??", he held her face up.

She looked up at him and froze. Her eyes widened with horror. Letting out a shrill cry, she pushed him and started crawling back towards the edge of the bed. Suddenly she felt her body levitate, held by some unseen force, which threw her right into the ceiling.
-----------
There was a crowd outside flat 205. A young woman was found murdered under mysterious circumstances. In the morning, finding no answer to her constant bell ringing and door banging, the maid had alerted the neighbors. Police broke open the door. It was locked on the inside. When they got in they cudn't let anyone else follow in after them. The scene inside was unusually horrifying for common man's eye, the policemen being no exception to that. The ceiling fan was spinning slowly. Half of the woman's body still hung on it with one of the fan blades sticking through it.The other half lay on the bed. Walls were splattered with blood.

Sumit was distraught with grief. He had been in police custody all night. He was speeding home and accidentally ran over a man. He was pulled over by police patrol and arrested on hit and run charge. All night he'd been trying to call Neeti but couldn't get through. Her cell was switched off. The man he'd run over had succumbed to injuries and Sumit was left to wonder if he'd been punished for what he'd done, by the powers that be. Natural or supernatural.


10/24/2009 12:53:00 AM - Posted by April - 5 comments
Is it harder to do the right thing or is it right to do the hard thing?


Skeletons in my closet
9/07/2009 05:00:00 PM - Posted by April - 1 comments
Crimes of passion. Love at first sight. Impulsive compulsive behaviour. All acts of capricious hedonism locked up safely in a corner of your room might not stay that way forever. Some day you unlock the doors and your sinner self stands embarrassed, staring wide eyed, unable to dish out a probable reason for your whimsical conquests. What was I thinking? It seemed right then but right after you had it, something didn't feel right altogether. You might not even be able to figure out how you must put away these axiomatic evidences to your unabashed self gratification. What was I thinking? How could I? My thoughts exactly. Yeah. All my shopping bloopers out of the hiding, scattered right in front of me, made me cringe to the point that I almost swore not to shop again. How depressing? Am I losing sanity? How can a girl breathe and not shop? I ate my words regarding not shopping again few seconds ago. What's done is done. The red t-shirt which seemed pretty when I bought it, was never worn more than once only to be disregarded and buried under a pile of similar mistakes. The long sky blue skirt, which incidently my mother (accomplice in crime) approved of at the time we bought it, got dismissed too. My defence. It looked like a goddamn petticoat after a few washes!! Ohh cummon.

Sometimes I just look back at my dresses and I wonder. Is that me? Really me? I was pathetic back then (scowl). Clumsy dresser. Not that I've turned into the fashion icon and Sex and the City star, Sarah Jessica Parker all offasudden but yeah I've improved. Or so I'd like to believe (everybody else except stupid fool scowls). You make mistakes never to learn from them. Have a gander at my blunder collection and you'll have an idea what I'm talking about. The crimes do not stop at fabric and threads alone. This is when my fetish for shoes shall be revealed to the world as I hang my head in ...deep thought. Shoes..hmm. Current pair requires urgent replacement. Sarah Jessica Parker has a collection of over 200 pairs of shoes. She dsnt wear them all. Just FYI. Not that I intended to inadvertently suggest something. Heh. The sheer bliss of finding what you had in mind in a shop is unsurpassed. Buying it is another deal altogether. Shoes are a beauty. Some of them make me fall in love over n over again. And sometimes to buy them and subsequently own them is an inexplicable high in itself. This is exactly how such a crime of passion is committed in a surge of impulse. Atleast that's how I've been doing it. Now don't get ideas. We'll talk about that laterrrrr (wink).


Just like that....
8/19/2009 05:12:00 PM - Posted by April - 3 comments
Just had one of those thoughts while watching this movie 'man i love you'. Its about a man who is about to marry his girlfriend and realises he has no best friend or ny friend for that matter except for his girlfriend. So he sets out on this hunt for a male-friend and goes out on many 'man-dates'...yeah exactly ..you heard it. Dude ..who wants to go on a man date? Me..why? Coz i'm a girl and i'm freakin single!! emm...well here's the thing. I'm inviting all those who will read this post to share with me one freaky thing u'll like to do if given a chance. Just about nything, even if u cant figure out why u wanna do it. To begin with i'd like to tie my old shoes together and throw them over the electricity wires. Dunno why? :)

P.S. i do not consider man-dating freaky :P


Pause
6/21/2009 11:22:00 AM - Posted by April - 2 comments
Its been almost a month and a half since I wrote something. I tried to write but chucked every thought that came to my mind. I was unsure. Have been trying to tell myself that it happens when there are a million phrenetic thoughts in your head. Holding on to a singular idea is pretty difficult, when so many are vexing you. I will be back though...after this period of mentation. Decided to be inconspicuous for a while. Chose to break the pause briefly, just so you know that my invisibility is not of the permanent kind. It can never be :)


Dreamgirl
5/02/2009 10:10:00 PM - Posted by April - 4 comments
At a book store they bumped into each other.Exchanged quick excuse me's.At the counter she fell short of change.He lent her some and she offered him coffee.That's how they'd met.Grateful she'd made the first move, he knew he had a thing for her the moment he saw her.
--------
"Ur late today", she complained.

"Its 7:35 pm.Five minutes..huh? Someone's been missing me", he loved the way her eyes shone when he teased her.

"Smile all you want because after today, someone's gonna miss me", this was a different smile.He noticed.A sad one.

"I just wanted to spend all my time with you.I'm leaving tomorrow morning", her eyes shone.He thought it was the tears.

He couldn't say a word.She had to shift to another city for a new job. They'd known each other for a month.Often met at weekends.He hadn't even told her about what he felt for her.But there was something else too he had to tell her.He was about to open his mouth when she spoke again.

"Would you mind if I ask you to take me on a long drive?Somewhere far.Just you and me".

Ohh how much he'd loved her that moment.Exactly what he'd wanted!He wanted to see that look on her face.With that ring on her finger, it would be priceless.The storekeeper was quite confident.He opened his wallet pulled out some money and placed it on the restaurant table.Taking her by her hand he headed for the car parking.She said she'd tell him where to drive.He followed her directions.

They'd come quite far and she hadn't spoken a word.Quite unlike her, he thought.He decided to break the silence.

"You know what?I was having these weird disturbing dreams for the past few weeks, last month.In my dreams a saw a girl.But I never saw her face.Not a glimpse".

"Really", she sounded amused.

"There's more.She didn't have one.It was sort of distorted.As if someone had sliced off her features from her face", he glanced at her for some response but she kept looking out the window.

"But you know what the weird part is?Those dreams just stopped the day we met.Just like that", he chuckled.A month ago, he couldn't have chuckled at his dreams.

He turned to look at her again. She was still looking out the window, the glass turned up now.He saw her reflection in it.It made him freeze.His stomach churned.Unable to believe his eyes, he raised his hand to reach her.She turned.
---------
"Very bad crash sir.Tree branch smashed right into the windshield", the constable informed the police officer.

"How many bodies?"

"One sir..and we found a ring in his pocket.Expensive.Poor guy. Face is distorted beyond recognition.Identification is difficult.It's as if his face has been sliced.Man what a tree branch can do!!"

"We'll check the car registration details for identity verification. Strange..", the police officer spoke deep in thought. "Only two months back there was a similar accident on this route".

"Yes sir.That was a girl."
--------


Just a thought..
4/25/2009 08:36:00 PM - Posted by April - 2 comments
Do I need to be rescued? This is one unutterable question that no selfdependent single woman would ever be caught dead thinking. Let alone speaking it out loud. But the question remains. Do all single women need to be rescued? Is it the responsibility of every man to save us single women from the 'gawd awful' situations in our lives? Are we not capable enough to handle our fragile existence ourselves? We managed to have survived so far. Haven't we? Is it only that a man can save us from the wrath of the society by either being with us or a step ahead - marrying us? But yes if a woman does need to be saved she will totally let you know. If she has a broken shoe heel, she'll turn to you for your much needed help. You'll know when she needs a lift. The weather's grey. A hand on her shoulder might work just fine. She'll count on you to fix it too. Coz she believes that sometimes that smile of yours can make it all go away. But if you have to hold her, for say a lingering while longer, then don't tell me your instincts told you so. At some point of time in our lives, we all need to be rescued. And if you din't know this. Sometimes a man needs to be rescued too :)


Infected
4/20/2009 12:32:00 AM - Posted by April - 6 comments
Was at the terrace this evening, celebrating the power cut ;) I know you'll think I'm probably outta my freakin mind. But it's a treat after a long day of studying.(shrug shrug). Anyway, there's this kid atop a riksha singing errr..yelling, 'tennu le ke jana..lalala hun yara'
Two guys sharing a long face, walk their cycles, with a sack of flour on each. Apparently their moms caught hold of them to run the errand.Sympathies dude.The riksha with the singing kid crosses paths with them. And then its them you hear going, 'tennu le ke jana..nai jeena hun yara'.
Quite a favorite with the guys, this song..me thought. Couldn't help smiling :) Innit fun singing on top of your voice on the road? Hehehe. Have never done that myself but surely would love to some day :) Shiet! Electricity back. So soon..!! UGH! Back to books. (sob sob). Wish i was the kid, happily singing (read yelling) away. On second thoughts, I'm happy to be me. Never-sang-on-the-road-nor-on-the-riksha girl. Drrrrraaaging myself to my room.Climbing down the stairs, 'tennu le ke jana..' Uh huh!! There I go :-O


Khatron ke Khilaadi !!
4/08/2009 10:00:00 PM - Posted by April - 4 comments
They are fearless, fiery and raring to go. Almost nothing can stop them once they lock their targets. The kind of acrobatics they perform, has your hair standing on its end. Jumping off the edge is what they do. Living on the edge is what you learn when they're around. Their 'go getter' attitude keeps you on your toes? Thought you just had enuff, it couldn't get any better? Think twice. You might have miscalculated. I'm not even hinting at Akshay Kumar and his gang of hotties. I'm talking about firebrands. The little ones.

My three year old cousin took a chance at daredevilry yesterday. She might have considered this a pretty lame attempt to demonstrate her daring. But her plunge from a fleet of stairs made our kidneys jump to our mouths. She fell letting out a frightened cry. Without a tear rolling down from her eye, she stood up. Was too shocked to cry i guess. There was a bump on her forehead though. Her father ran to pick her up in his arms but she refused to go to him and clung to me instead. Proud moment for me..considering she chose me over her father. Pathetic me. She was plain angry with him. We didn't understand why?

Later she told us innocently, "Papa ne bachaya nahi". (Papa didn't save me from falling)
Poor Papa. He must have felt miserable. Kids imagine their fathers are superheroes who'll swoop in on them whenever they are falling. I took her outside to distract her and found myself showing her cows and dogs. Worse, she looked at me questioningly. She wasn't crying. What the heck was I doing!!

Almost two decades ago, my younger brother had shown similar traits. Guess it's in the family. Though it's a different thing I'm class apart..heh. Well he was five. Our house was under construction. Being inquisitive and finding the coast clear, he decided to carry out one of the most historic experiments of all times, in our family history i.e. His findings were as follows: When an electrical conductor, say an iron rod, dipped in a solution which is also an electrical conductor (water came handy in this case), is driven into a 'functional' electrical socket, conditions remaining ideal (experimenter without footwear or rubber gloves on), sparkling, blue stars were reported visible to the human eye.
He's an engineer now. Humor is cruel!!


The hardest word(s)
3/04/2009 06:33:00 PM - Posted by April - 2 comments
The more profoundly you feel it, the more difficult it is to express feelings in words. To say that it was good to have found you but it doesn't feel quite good to let go of you, to lose you in the crowd again, to never see you again, to miss you and wonder what it would have been like to be with you. More so when the feelings are mixed up..regret, love, despair. If only words were enough to explain it all..why would you suddenly feel let down, when you needed them the most? Sorry seems to be the hardest word, they say. Good byes are quite punishing too at times...the final ones. All the bonds developed in time with great care and effort, come undone. Is a sorry and a good bye even harder than telling someone that you love them with all your self, all your being? It's impossible to measure love at any point in time..I agree. To describe it in words...I haven't been successful myself. I just failed miserably. Right here. But not to say those words, when its all in your head, when you know you can and when you want to the most..is the hardest of all.


Blurr..
2/24/2009 12:24:00 AM - Posted by April - 2 comments
She just stood there blank..watching the traffic race past her. It was a blurr inspite of all the streetlight. Couldn't quite make up her mind which way to go. There was a lump in her throat. No matter how much she struggled to push it back, it wouldn't just go away. The grief swelled up in her heart forcing its way out of her eyes. Fighting back tears, she decided not go home that day. She was quite far away from home and couldn't keep the tears from coming. Didn't want to go crying all the way. Wanted to linger..take in what had just happened. There was a void, she dint know where exactly but she thought it had always been there. Coexisting with her. Consuming her. She had always felt empty. Now the emptiness exerted itself. Never felt this cheated at the end of a day. Humiliated and dejected. As the headlights from the cars and autos strayed and blinded her, she grew aware of her situation. Three long hours she had stood there , on the pavement, like a fool. She couldn't stand there all night! He wasn't going to show up. Even though she had told him if he dint turn up, she would understand he was no longer interested in being together. He had made her believe that nothing could keep him from coming today. He said he would..if he got his bike back in time. It was a twenty minute ride from his place. He could have easily taken an auto. Wouldn't have cost him his dignity. So this was what she was worth. Realization suddenly dawned on her. Something told her this was the end. This time he would not let her down, she had expected. Why had she expected at all? He had never been there for her...ever. The yearning to run away and hide herself somewhere, to scream the lump out of her throat, only grew stronger every passing second. And before it got the better of her she decided to head home.


I kissed a girl...I liked it ;P
2/23/2009 12:06:00 AM - Posted by April - 7 comments
"Ruchi...don't you have any boyfriends?". Taken aback, her hand shook and the lipstick drew a nice red line on her face, extending from the corner of her lip to her ear. Gwweat, now she looked like a clown...perfect!! When did she enter the room? Startled..she turned to face her mother, looking electrocuted and clownish. Innocence at its best. Why was mom asking? "Shiet...did she find out about Nitin?" realising her mother was staring intently at her, Ruchi nervously shifted gaze. Her mind screamed...she knows, ohh my god she knows!! Was it so obvious that he had kissed her last night? HOW could she tell? Did it show she was nervous, her heart pounding like crazy, she was afraid her mother could almost hear it? Did it, did it, did it?

"Maybe I'm just thinking too much", Ruchi tried to convince herself. There was absolutely no way she could have known about the kiss unless she was there at the disc.

"No..I thought Tammy has one. Doesn't she?" came another question, finding no reply for the first. "And what's with these two girls in your class? Are they a couple?"
Sigh of relief!! Whoa..slow down with the questions lady!!

"Heh..dunno know mom. Silly rumors. They're good girls", she lied.

"Whatever they are, you stay miles away from them. Am I clear?", said the stern look.

"Crystal", she murmured under her breath.

"Tammy called up to ask permission for a night stay, speaking of which, are there boys at her party too??", mother inquired with one raised eyebrow. "No ..not at all", trying hard not to stammer, she lied again.

"Wipe off that lipstick. Its all over your face", mother moved towards the door. "And no kissing boys in the party", she said half glaring as she left.

"Phew..that was close", Ruchi slumped into her bed. How does she know about boys at the party?
---------
"Ruchi its your first time, go slow babes", Tammy looked concerned.

"Yeah babes..lesss go get dwwwunk", an incredibly drunk Ruchi said, reaching out for Tammy's hand. Never made it to her hand.
---------
She woke up to strong sunlight falling on her face, like a bright shock. Half opened her eyes. Her head throbbed. Throat parched. She fell back on the pillow. Her head reeled. Something was missing. What was it? Her hand moved to her head. Naah.. right in place and aching. She sat up like a recoiled spring, blanket almost falling off. Her clothes..her clothes were missing. Shiet, shiet shiet! "Ohh my god!! What did i do? Did i...", she was almost running out of thoughts, fear filling her mind. She searched for her clothes and found them scattered on the sofa along with.... Tammy's?? But she remembered there were no guys with her last night. This she remembered vividly. So..? Did she and Tammy..? How could she? She was not that. She did fancy kissing a girl a couple of times though. But that was because she thought it was the craziest thing to do. She remembered having mentioned this to Tammy. Her head ached badly.

"Heyy..you're up?? What happened honey?". Tammy ... coffee mug ..ooohh head.

"Aww..I told you not to drink but you just wouldn't stop. You were sloshed.What got into you last night? Thank god you didn't have to go home in that condition. But you know what..you were awesome last night." half smiling, Tammy winked at her. A beat.

"I was..?", her mind raced but she couldn't remember anything. "Wh..what happened...", she trailed off, rubbing her forehead. Her mouth went dry. She needed water. Tammy was clearly oblivious to her state of mind. Goddamn confounded stupidity. She should never have come to this wretched party in the first place. "Tammy what happened here last night and my clothes..did something happen that wasn't supposed to happen?" eyes wide open now, she looked like a mess, her mascara smudged all around her eyes. Tammy almost fell on the floor laughing. Ruchi looked at her with puzzlement. What is she..nuts?? "Nothing happened my dear..nothing. Believe me, I don't even know when you took them off", still laughing, she said . "Here have coffee. Its 2 pm. Don't you wanna go home now?", Tammy left the room.

"Nothing happened (saying it a million more times in her head). Thank god. No more parties for me. Never again", she silently promised herself, getting out of bed to get dressed.
---------
Tammy was getting ready in her bathroom. Her boyfriend was coming to pick her up for dinner. "Poor girl. She didn't have the faintest idea what she had gotten into last night", smiling wickedly, she congratulated herself. Ruchi's mother hated girls like her and the couple in the class. Tammy hated her back for being so verbal of her personal opinions. Now won't she like it when she will discover something similar about her own daughter? Ofcourse, nothing happened but spending a night at a party meant only for same sex couples would give her a new reputation. However, Tammy was yet to be discovered..by others, especially her new boyfriend who knew nothing about her. Wicked. Huh? Hahaha! She half laughed. With a final look at herself in the mirror she left to meet her boyfriend downstairs.


People! don't preach..
2/22/2009 01:31:00 AM - Posted by April - 4 comments
"I won't go to the wedding", said Mrinaal storming out of the kitchen.

"And why exactly don't you want to go to the wedding? What is the reason? Look at me when I am talking to you", Mrinaal's mother was fuming. "This girl is getting out of hand every passing day", she thought.

"Please mom, I'm not a kid anymore, I am a 26 year old for god's sake. Can't I take my own decisions without once having to explain them to you?” Banging the door of her room, she didn't care now if she was being rude to her mother. The heated exchanges had become a thing of every day. And it was not just about not going to the wedding. It was almost everything..her refusal to get married, lying at the root of the everyday drama.

"Your uncle got you the gold ring you are wearing right now", said her mother from the other side of the door. "Have the courtesy to return the favor. What will he think of us?"

"If that's why I have to go to the wedding, he can have his ring back". Mrinaal yelled back, her eyes brimming with tears now.

She will never understand. Going to the wedding was like voluntarily jumping in a fire pit. All the relatives looking quizzically at her, probing about the probable reasons of her remaining unmarried, as if it was too late. Some ladies had the nerves to come upto Mrinaal, inquiring if she was having an "affair", while the others just kept whispering and giggling knowingly among themselves...mocking her. The word in itself was like profanity, used generally by the 'ohh so' social women at the kitty parties to gossip about the neighbor's daughter and her possible alliance with a boy, they all secretly fancied.

All her cousins had gotten married, produced kids and done their parents proud. According to them they had undertaken huge responsibilities and were living upto them. Only they didn't have the energy or the enthusiasm in them to appreciate life anymore. It was like a daily chore. Necessary evil..eh?? Feeling secluded at these parties because her cousins feared her singlehood, of their husbands falling prey to an unmarried girl's charms, Mrinaal felt their eyes pricking her. So much for trusting their own husbands. Always eying her with contempt and suspicion if she were even to smile at them. Who would want to be party to such hypocrisy??

It was like her biological clock was ticking in the bodies of her relatives, only not in her own. Why couldn't they accept her once for what she was and let her be? For what she wanted to be in life. Everyone was ready with those easy lectures on late marriages and its repercussions. Every ambitious girl wanted an identity of her own...before losing it in marriage, merging their individuality with someone else's who they hardly knew. Mrinaal was no different. In the whole process of settling someone else without even getting a fair chance to discover who she was and what she was capable of, she was afraid of losing herself.

She would get married, to someone who shared her dreams and thoughts. Someone who would accept her for however imperfect she was, forgive her for her flaws and love her all the same. Someone who had it in him to proudly say to the whole world that she was indeed the only one for him. And someday, she hoped, these overconcerned people will be answered appropriately. Someday...



Bheed mein..mind it!!
2/17/2009 08:18:00 PM - Posted by April - 1 comments
Getting back from a tiring day at college, my bag was complaining about the heavy load of books and threatened to give away.

What is with people these days?? Why do all these people want to shop at the same day..ohhh goddd. Pushing my way past ladies, with long shopping lists at the weekly bazaar, along with their gawky adolescents and even gawkier husbands...I decided to take the easier way out..hire a rikshaaw to take me home. Yaay!!

"You won't be looking quite appealing in that saree in your cousin's wedding darlin, if you keep skipping those walks", said the wise brain.

"Ohh yeah..what about those 100 calories i burnt while shopping..huh?? Selfish calorie counting brain.How many calories did the McDonald's delicious, harmless looking burger contain anyway?? Ohh forget it..i'll never get it right(sigh).

I was about to mount the rikshaw when it happened. I had to stop him. Somehow. In that human maze.

"Oyye!!", i called out, to cut the chase.

No response. He hurried without looking back.

"Excuse me.." i said, almost pulling him back by his t-shirt, a little louder now.

"What the hell do you think you just did??" Had i really just kicked him in the knee, even as i said those word. I couldn't believe myself. He should have reeled in pain but he wasn't exactly on the ground "reeling in pain". He looked me straight in the eye.

He was an adolescent in his pre-teens. "What are you making a scene about??". These words coming out of his impertinent mouth infuriated me so much so that i found myself shaking...with anger. And there.. he got a backhand on his left cheek.

Still no remorse.

Serious self doubt now. "Am i slapping the wrong guy??". "No its him....its him, i saw him".The wise brain again.

"So you thought you would brush me up all nice and get away with that..u bloody bullshit". Yeah..now the words were coming.
"And all this is a scene created by me. Is that why exactly you stood there and took the slap so calmly..you swine??"

Still no response..rather no expression at all. He just walked away as if something very insignificant had happened. Nothing that concerned him at all. He kept talking on his cell phone..the same way he had when he had came up suddenly and grabbed me some where unmentionable.

I turned to leave, fully aware that this was indeed a scene for the onlookers and a pretty amusing one at that. What was souu amusing???

And why the hell was my rikshawaala pedalling at top speed??

Damn!! I'll have to walk myself home.


Seasons
2/16/2009 08:01:00 PM - Posted by April - 3 comments
How oft' in your mind do you think?
What the rude dry winds bring..this winter, this spring?
How oft' do you care to look beyond the visible?
How oft' the pain and its giver become indivisible?
In my mind I think, of roses and spring,
Of frayed emotions, that vanish in an eye's blink,
Of sudden lightning and rain,
Of thunder and shudders and I'm cold again...
Oft' in my mind do I think..of winter and of spring,
They don't make me cold anymore..the rude, cold dry winds.



Illusion or delusion!!
2/13/2009 09:36:00 PM - Posted by April - 4 comments
It seems silly. And as a matter of fact it is silly. How can you seem to know a certain someone even when you've never met in person..ever?? Should logic explain it, we would be more than happy to accept that we're delusional or folie or whatever. Unable to believe oneself, we take refuge in the thought that maybe this is destined. What a way to hide from the ghost of self doubt. Shutting your eyes tightly, hoping you are invisible and the fears accompanied by these doubts will never find you afterall. But they find you and haunt you.
Ever felt like you have a inexplicably deep bond with a person sitting somewhere thousands of miles away from you. A strong feeling that urges you to check your mail..only to find one sent from that stranger, just when you signed in. Everything seems like a sign, pointing in the direction of this unseen fantasy. Everwhere you go, you are followed by the shadow of this unknown familiarity. Or is it just suddenly we start connecting our life subconsciously to this illusion.
Its illogical...the small voice in your head will say. But why is this voice always small, so much so that it ends up getting ignored? Though the fear of getting hurt will keep raising its head again and again. It'll keep tormenting with the unanswerable 'what if'. What if we're wrong in our judgment? What if the whole thing is just a figment of our twisted imagination. What if bruises and pain await you on the other side of this blissful ride to wonderland? This 'beautiful' stranger is sitting pretty far off to beat the shit out of you. But who can tell for certain,when this something special might turn into something not so special or maybe not. You might as well be in for a surprise. Well isn't the small voice right..always? But you make it shutup anyway. At least until you find out what this strange connection is? What if you don't find out??