"I won't go to the wedding", said Mrinaal storming out of the kitchen.
"And why exactly don't you want to go to the wedding? What is the reason? Look at me when I am talking to you", Mrinaal's mother was fuming. "This girl is getting out of hand every passing day", she thought.
"Please mom, I'm not a kid anymore, I am a 26 year old for god's sake. Can't I take my own decisions without once having to explain them to you?” Banging the door of her room, she didn't care now if she was being rude to her mother. The heated exchanges had become a thing of every day. And it was not just about not going to the wedding. It was almost everything..her refusal to get married, lying at the root of the everyday drama.
"Your uncle got you the gold ring you are wearing right now", said her mother from the other side of the door. "Have the courtesy to return the favor. What will he think of us?"
"If that's why I have to go to the wedding, he can have his ring back". Mrinaal yelled back, her eyes brimming with tears now.
She will never understand. Going to the wedding was like voluntarily jumping in a fire pit. All the relatives looking quizzically at her, probing about the probable reasons of her remaining unmarried, as if it was too late. Some ladies had the nerves to come upto Mrinaal, inquiring if she was having an "affair", while the others just kept whispering and giggling knowingly among themselves...mocking her. The word in itself was like profanity, used generally by the 'ohh so' social women at the kitty parties to gossip about the neighbor's daughter and her possible alliance with a boy, they all secretly fancied.
All her cousins had gotten married, produced kids and done their parents proud. According to them they had undertaken huge responsibilities and were living upto them. Only they didn't have the energy or the enthusiasm in them to appreciate life anymore. It was like a daily chore. Necessary evil..eh?? Feeling secluded at these parties because her cousins feared her singlehood, of their husbands falling prey to an unmarried girl's charms, Mrinaal felt their eyes pricking her. So much for trusting their own husbands. Always eying her with contempt and suspicion if she were even to smile at them. Who would want to be party to such hypocrisy??
It was like her biological clock was ticking in the bodies of her relatives, only not in her own. Why couldn't they accept her once for what she was and let her be? For what she wanted to be in life. Everyone was ready with those easy lectures on late marriages and its repercussions. Every ambitious girl wanted an identity of her own...before losing it in marriage, merging their individuality with someone else's who they hardly knew. Mrinaal was no different. In the whole process of settling someone else without even getting a fair chance to discover who she was and what she was capable of, she was afraid of losing herself.
She would get married, to someone who shared her dreams and thoughts. Someone who would accept her for however imperfect she was, forgive her for her flaws and love her all the same. Someone who had it in him to proudly say to the whole world that she was indeed the only one for him. And someday, she hoped, these overconcerned people will be answered appropriately. Someday...
"And why exactly don't you want to go to the wedding? What is the reason? Look at me when I am talking to you", Mrinaal's mother was fuming. "This girl is getting out of hand every passing day", she thought.
"Please mom, I'm not a kid anymore, I am a 26 year old for god's sake. Can't I take my own decisions without once having to explain them to you?” Banging the door of her room, she didn't care now if she was being rude to her mother. The heated exchanges had become a thing of every day. And it was not just about not going to the wedding. It was almost everything..her refusal to get married, lying at the root of the everyday drama.
"Your uncle got you the gold ring you are wearing right now", said her mother from the other side of the door. "Have the courtesy to return the favor. What will he think of us?"
"If that's why I have to go to the wedding, he can have his ring back". Mrinaal yelled back, her eyes brimming with tears now.
She will never understand. Going to the wedding was like voluntarily jumping in a fire pit. All the relatives looking quizzically at her, probing about the probable reasons of her remaining unmarried, as if it was too late. Some ladies had the nerves to come upto Mrinaal, inquiring if she was having an "affair", while the others just kept whispering and giggling knowingly among themselves...mocking her. The word in itself was like profanity, used generally by the 'ohh so' social women at the kitty parties to gossip about the neighbor's daughter and her possible alliance with a boy, they all secretly fancied.
All her cousins had gotten married, produced kids and done their parents proud. According to them they had undertaken huge responsibilities and were living upto them. Only they didn't have the energy or the enthusiasm in them to appreciate life anymore. It was like a daily chore. Necessary evil..eh?? Feeling secluded at these parties because her cousins feared her singlehood, of their husbands falling prey to an unmarried girl's charms, Mrinaal felt their eyes pricking her. So much for trusting their own husbands. Always eying her with contempt and suspicion if she were even to smile at them. Who would want to be party to such hypocrisy??
It was like her biological clock was ticking in the bodies of her relatives, only not in her own. Why couldn't they accept her once for what she was and let her be? For what she wanted to be in life. Everyone was ready with those easy lectures on late marriages and its repercussions. Every ambitious girl wanted an identity of her own...before losing it in marriage, merging their individuality with someone else's who they hardly knew. Mrinaal was no different. In the whole process of settling someone else without even getting a fair chance to discover who she was and what she was capable of, she was afraid of losing herself.
She would get married, to someone who shared her dreams and thoughts. Someone who would accept her for however imperfect she was, forgive her for her flaws and love her all the same. Someone who had it in him to proudly say to the whole world that she was indeed the only one for him. And someday, she hoped, these overconcerned people will be answered appropriately. Someday...
4 comments:
Archna said...
It is very difficult to be a woman in this world, to do what you want, and not feel guilty about it at the same time.
Study, marry, conceive, die.... is this what everyone calls "LIFE" when the hell will this society grow up?
Anyway, you keep writing and fighting girl. You doing a great job.
clovesofgarlic said...
YOU JUST MANAGE TO GET IT RIGHT ALWAYS! THERE ARE JUST A FEW WHO UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS ACTUALLY!!!THE REST FEEL THAT WOMEN TODAY ARE 'AMBITIOUS' IF I MAY USE THE WORD!!!
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!
KEEP POSTING!!!
Unknown said...
totally go with mrinaal...itz very difficult to go against the tide and think out of the box..but very few have the courage to stand up for themselves...its no crime to try and carve an identity of ur own....keep fighting...and as far as the people and relatives are concerned....they can have your middle finger...
Anonymous said...
logon ka kaam hai kehna
it is very difficult to be a girl in indian middle class society .
any way hatz off to
INDIAN SIMON DI BUAR
STUPID FOOL