She just stood there blank..watching the traffic race past her. It was a blurr inspite of all the streetlight. Couldn't quite make up her mind which way to go. There was a lump in her throat. No matter how much she struggled to push it back, it wouldn't just go away. The grief swelled up in her heart forcing its way out of her eyes. Fighting back tears, she decided not go home that day. She was quite far away from home and couldn't keep the tears from coming. Didn't want to go crying all the way. Wanted to linger..take in what had just happened. There was a void, she dint know where exactly but she thought it had always been there. Coexisting with her. Consuming her. She had always felt empty. Now the emptiness exerted itself. Never felt this cheated at the end of a day. Humiliated and dejected. As the headlights from the cars and autos strayed and blinded her, she grew aware of her situation. Three long hours she had stood there , on the pavement, like a fool. She couldn't stand there all night! He wasn't going to show up. Even though she had told him if he dint turn up, she would understand he was no longer interested in being together. He had made her believe that nothing could keep him from coming today. He said he would..if he got his bike back in time. It was a twenty minute ride from his place. He could have easily taken an auto. Wouldn't have cost him his dignity. So this was what she was worth. Realization suddenly dawned on her. Something told her this was the end. This time he would not let her down, she had expected. Why had she expected at all? He had never been there for her...ever. The yearning to run away and hide herself somewhere, to scream the lump out of her throat, only grew stronger every passing second. And before it got the better of her she decided to head home.
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I’m hopeless when it comes to expressing myself. Confused always, as I am, there are a million thoughts running amuck in my head, too many things that I have to say at the same time, too many questions that need to be answered, I eventually get lost midway, losing track of what I had begun with in the first place. On second thoughts...it won’t bite to give writing a shot. Will it??
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2 comments:
Nikhil Srivastava said...
Nice blog. It will be published on 25th Feb in i next newspaper. Do read and contact me at nikhil.63lu@gmail.com
Unknown said...
Felt really sorry for her, for nothing could be worse than finding out about the reality the way she did, standing all alone in the middle of the road.But i am happy for her at the same time. Its better off to be single than to be with someone like that.The truth might be harsh, but u cant escape it, its always gud to move on with it. The world is out there waiting for you, go get them girl.......