Thinking thinking, feeling overwhelmed, blocked but want to write everything down. It has been so difficult to write down what I have been feeling lately in a sentence.
Was in the back seat of a car with two females, one a colleague S and the other her elder sister P, going to a new year get together where I dint want to be. As is the scenario, its almost impossible not to talk about the Delhi gangrape. However, my colleague who is half as intelligent as a goose, decided to start the coversation with...
"What was her name?? They should give out her name now. Now that she is dead". To my utter horror.
"What was her name?? They should give out her name now. Now that she is dead". To my utter horror.
I thought my head spinned. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY 'NOW THAT SHE IS DEAD??' Tolerance. Patience. I told myself and explained in vain that there is a code for media, digital or print that the identity and whereabouts of any kind of victim be kept private. Still recovering, I wished she wouldn't ask another such question.
"Her name is Damini. No?" This time it was my colleague S's elder sister P...the goose.
"Her name is Damini. No?" This time it was my colleague S's elder sister P...the goose.
"No her name was N******a." Don't know why I felt like it was my responsiblity to inform both of them.
"N******a", S repeated. "kitta ajeeb sa naam hai". It was the impassivity that shook me.
"Ajeeb kaise hai yaar?? wo ekdum apne naam ke jaisi thi. She fought till her last breath", I explained. Offended as if she had insulted my name.
Maybe P sensed the sharpness in my tone and cut her younger sister short.
It was difficult to believe what I had just heard. Not to be sarcastic but I have heard God gives little brains where He bestowes beauty. I was in no mood for fun and frolic with all this raita around me and an emotional volcano ready to explode at the slightest provocation. I could see red. Gathering myself, I decided not to discuss the matter. Well if its not your day you had better stay home cuddled on your bed. I'll remind myself that from now on. To make things worse, K, the host was still out in the market and his teenage younger brother too keen on entertaining the female guests at hand in his brother's absence, turned on the TV.
Every channel was playing the same seething crowd clip in loops and as I feared S started again "Koi aisa kyun karega yaar kisi ladki ke saath??
It was difficult to believe what I had just heard. Not to be sarcastic but I have heard God gives little brains where He bestowes beauty. I was in no mood for fun and frolic with all this raita around me and an emotional volcano ready to explode at the slightest provocation. I could see red. Gathering myself, I decided not to discuss the matter. Well if its not your day you had better stay home cuddled on your bed. I'll remind myself that from now on. To make things worse, K, the host was still out in the market and his teenage younger brother too keen on entertaining the female guests at hand in his brother's absence, turned on the TV.
Every channel was playing the same seething crowd clip in loops and as I feared S started again "Koi aisa kyun karega yaar kisi ladki ke saath??
"Pata hai log keh rahe hain ki usne short skirt pehni thi issliye aisa hua uske saath" replied P. Coming from a person with a PHD, it sounded not quite right.
That's when I decided she's the goose. Damn it. When you know all the tiny detail about the case why make small talk about it!!!
That's when I decided she's the goose. Damn it. When you know all the tiny detail about the case why make small talk about it!!!
Taking a deep breath, I began to explain again that rape was an act of violence against women since time immortal where the enemy raped the women of the opponent just to shame them. It was not about sexual urges because men are capable of controlling their sexual urges. Also all men who get drunk don't turn into monsters. I could sense the last bit of information made them uncomfortable since this was a new year's get together and our male colleagues would invariably down a few.
"They should atleast show her photograph now. dekhein to wo kaisi thi". Nothing was stopping S. If only it was said in utter innocence.
"Why? You want to see if she was a looker or not. So that you can cluck your wagging tongue at her misery?? Ohh she was sou beautiful. How unfortunate!!", I was outraged but this silenced her. Hence her elder sister rose to the occasion.
"Kaash ek baar use dekh paate...matlab jaise uski haalat thi. Ek baar dikhana to chahiye tha", said P without a trace of empathy on her face. Her words broke my heart.
What did you want to see?? The blacks and blues on her body! her broken limbs! her disfigured face!! What all she had suffered at 'their' hands?? How 'they' had beaten her and crushed her body?? Such is your curiosity?? and for WHAT?? So that you can wag your shameless tongues at her misfortune?? With no more energy or the will to reason with them, all I could muster was..
"Tum log dekh nahi paate. Dil toot jata tumhara", the TV died as I said this, as if it couldn't bear the bimbos any more. Even I couldn't. Never been more thankfull to Kanpur's elecricity cuts. I came out of the room with a sinking heart. Such apathy!!
I am not a sexist. Not a woman hater but I'm compelled to say some women will say anything to prove they know better of a given situation. No matter how grave. No matter how gruesome. No matter how inappropriate to be discussed, yet they will. And with such confidence and indifference that you will be amazed at their potential to shock.What world are you living in S and P?? If you could only get out of your cosmetics and see the real world with your eyes open. Actually with your minds open.The faaltu pretence that you care so much about a victim is given away by your lack of emotions anyway. Why try so hard to sound intellectual when clearly all your intellect is in your vanity bag?
"They should atleast show her photograph now. dekhein to wo kaisi thi". Nothing was stopping S. If only it was said in utter innocence.
"Why? You want to see if she was a looker or not. So that you can cluck your wagging tongue at her misery?? Ohh she was sou beautiful. How unfortunate!!", I was outraged but this silenced her. Hence her elder sister rose to the occasion.
"Kaash ek baar use dekh paate...matlab jaise uski haalat thi. Ek baar dikhana to chahiye tha", said P without a trace of empathy on her face. Her words broke my heart.
What did you want to see?? The blacks and blues on her body! her broken limbs! her disfigured face!! What all she had suffered at 'their' hands?? How 'they' had beaten her and crushed her body?? Such is your curiosity?? and for WHAT?? So that you can wag your shameless tongues at her misfortune?? With no more energy or the will to reason with them, all I could muster was..
"Tum log dekh nahi paate. Dil toot jata tumhara", the TV died as I said this, as if it couldn't bear the bimbos any more. Even I couldn't. Never been more thankfull to Kanpur's elecricity cuts. I came out of the room with a sinking heart. Such apathy!!
I am not a sexist. Not a woman hater but I'm compelled to say some women will say anything to prove they know better of a given situation. No matter how grave. No matter how gruesome. No matter how inappropriate to be discussed, yet they will. And with such confidence and indifference that you will be amazed at their potential to shock.What world are you living in S and P?? If you could only get out of your cosmetics and see the real world with your eyes open. Actually with your minds open.The faaltu pretence that you care so much about a victim is given away by your lack of emotions anyway. Why try so hard to sound intellectual when clearly all your intellect is in your vanity bag?
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